I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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