I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize