Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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