i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
being pregnant is like rehab
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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