he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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