just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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