chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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