So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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