i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize