Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize