The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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