at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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