i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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