Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Randomize
Follow @tfln