Just cropdusted the office
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
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also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
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Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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