When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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