so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
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I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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