I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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