So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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