my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize