...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize