My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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