I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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