That's intense
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
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This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
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Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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