I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize