just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
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Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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