One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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