Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize