I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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