I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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