She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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