I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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