we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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