So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
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Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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