there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize