idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
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I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
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I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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