That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize