She said her name was "party"
accomplished twins. life is a go
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My vagina is very pro this idea
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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