had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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