My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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