I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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