just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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