i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
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i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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