Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize