I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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