I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
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I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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