and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
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The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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