This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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