I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize