I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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